Saturday, November 15, 2014

I am not to be believed

If you've learned anything from my writing, I hope you know that I am fickle, and change my mind often.

The snow is finally coming. 15 miles away from me got 10 inches the other day, while we got just a dusting. Tonight my area is looking at 3-10" it sounds like. Right on the line between 3-6" and 6-10".

Anyway, I allotted myself $2500 to get a different vehicle. Even took it out of the bank and was ready to take the plunge. I looked at one minivan and of course it wasn't quite as described. I continued my search, had a couple leads.. But then I started to ask myself what I was doing.

I still don't know what I'm doing, and the snow that arrives tonight complicates things a little more. I've been working on trying to find places for things in the motorhome. At the same time I've been trying to get my mind right enough to make the final push to get rid of things.

Everything that used to be in my storage now fits in my old travel trailer. Which is amazing, and I need to recognize that. At one time I had reached a point where I was 'okay' with leaving it just at that. The trailer would be parked here at my parents and I could travel and feel 'okay' about it. Not so much anymore. I really want to get rid of everything left in there and then sell the trailer for cheap to get rid of it. That trailer is going to be stuck in the snow pretty soon, and nobody is going to want to mess with it.

So am I hitting the road?

Answer still unknown. I'm leaving the option open. Another realization I've made is that if I don't trust it enough to travel in, after ALL of the time and money I've put into it.. then why do I have it? At this point there's nothing that's going to make it better. I've already put a new engine in it. Eventually I just have to take that leap of faith.

I would say that currently I'm leaning towards hitting the road.